Every night you go out, he finds you. The Creep. His face changes, but his methods remain the same. Dancing up behind you. Spoiling your mood with his asinine pickup lines. Knocking into you and spilling your drink. Grabbing your—
Yuck. If only there was a surefire way to brand The Creep with a scarlet C right in the middle of his forehead. We’ve been in your creepy situation too many times to count. Fortunately, we’ve come up with a few ways to help banish lowlife nightlife once and for all – or at least, for the evening. And you don’t need a red-hot branding iron to do it.
Skip the Line and that Loser
Rather than commiserate with a striped-shirt, redbull crushing weirdo in the loooong line out front; why not skip the line with VIP entry? This express route to good times is not only convenient, it’s fashionable.
Pull the Bathroom Trick
Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Don’t say, “I’ll be right back”. Enter the bathroom for extended period of time. Exit and head elsewhere. If The Creep finds you again, feign ignorance: “Oh? I thought we were done talking.”
Dance Away
The classic attack from The Creep is to dance up behind you when you’re dancing alone, or with a friend. If you’re with a friend, you should already have your defense strategy down – usually grabbing the victim’s hand and pulling her away works wonders. If you’re alone, pretend you’re performing some fancy dance move and swivel off into the crowd.
Buy a Round
If you’re hanging out with friends and you’re trying to get rid of a hanger-on, buy a round – for everyone but him.
Don’t Accept a Round
Some girls accept every free drink offered to them. Then when The Creep won’t leave them alone, they complain. Don’t accept drinks from The Creep. It only encourages him.
Head for the VIP Section
Even if you haven’t scored VIP access, just let the VIP bouncer know you’re trying to ditch The Creep. Half the time, he’ll let you in to the VIP section anyway, and at the very least he’ll let you hide out until The Creep takes a hint.
Book a Table with Bottle Service
To skip the line and enjoy an uninterrupted night of VIP treatment with your best friends and other well-healed (or splurging) denizens of the San Diego nightlife scene the quick and easy option is to reserve a table in the VIP section at a top club or lounge.